Where's my camera when I need it most? After producing the radio show today, we went to Hamburger Mary's and ordered a carafe of mimosa, but left prematurely after an intoxicated gentleman walked around to every table at the outside patio and made everyone look at his penis, which lay pathetically flaccid and slightly flopped over the waist band. When the bartender attempted to kindly escort him out of the restaurant, the drunk scoffed at him and began urinating on the floor mat in defiance of repressive company policy.
Thirty minutes into our second destination, Lucky Baldwin's, a frat boy started defecating in the plastic tree planter a few tables away from us for losing a bet. His friends laughed at him unforgivably for not taking off his pants.
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