Macy*s in Pasadena

I sat down on the toilet, with a neighbor to my left who had been sitting there for a while. After several minutes, the man was not moving. This guy has been here for a while. I tried to make out his shadow on the floor, listening closely for his breathing pattern. It was erratic, composed of small gasps of air. I looked at his shadow again. Maybe he has an iPhone and he's shaking it for some game on it, or maybe he has a Pokemon thing that you have to shake. None of these excuses are good enough, and I was disgusted that he was getting off on my taking a shit. 

Soilent Green

Yesterday my friend and I sat on the porch drinking beer. He was picking his nose while talking about veganism and environmental sustainability. I saw him eat a booger. "You know," I said, "boogers may be sustainable, but they aren't vegan." 

"You just spoiled my favorite bad habit."